|I use my Facebook as a sounding board. What's that mean? It means I just throw things out there in a way people can respond to, and usually I don't expect any sort of comment or thought. It's simply easier for me to use than twitter because more of my friends use it. |
That also means that I often say things people are either offended or hurt by. While I apologize to any of my ACTUAL friends I end up hurting, I really don't have any reason to apologize and only do so because I want to keep those friends.
I frankly don't care what most people think of me. I'll be the first to say it: I'm a selfish bitch who doesn't care about anyone but herself. But the thing is, there are a few people (three) that I would do anything for... And the funny thing is, they aren't the ones who get offended by what I say. No, the people who get pissy about the things I say are usually people who don't know me, people I'm friends with for actual reasons and not because we ourselves are friends. This isn't always the case, but it's the trend.
I genuinely don't understand why anyone takes the dumb website as seriously as they do. It's still the Internet. It's still chock full of trolls, and lurkers, and people who think The things they say or share truly 'means' something. Well, it doesn't. This isn't real life. All of our lives are so tangled up in these machines that we don't see that we aren't as great as we think we are. We make these pages that are all about us, and use our statuses as though we're making some profound statements about the world, but in reality, we are all nobodies. The only people who will remember most of us when we die are our families. And even then, only the first few generations after we die will remember, after that we're done. And some people are so afraid of that that they treat this dumb 'social network' (read: glorified forum on crack) like it's one of those unofficial biographies I used to buy to memorise everything I could about Hanson or the Spice Girls.
Facebook allows us to think we matter. That's WHY social media is so popular. Everyone wants to be famous, and Facebook lets us think we are a little bit. It makes us feel like we are individuals and our words and opinions make a difference, that maybe we'll be remembered for something we said or did. In reality, we won't be. This age will not be remembered as a golden one. We will be lucky if future generations don't consider this a dark age of personal growth. There's too much posturing going on. Too many people willing to laugh at everyone but themselves. I'll admit, it's difficult to find things funny right after they happen, but thats no reason to be angry. We need to eliminate double-standards. It's difficult, yes, but not impossible.
Growth starts at being aware of what we do. I'm a bitch, sure, but I don't let the past bother me. (okay, aside from my vow to one day buy, destroy, and put up a dog park on the site of the hospital that killed my grandmother's dog) When something happens, it's only natural to go through whatever emotions you need to to cope. But no one lets anything go, and Facebook makes it easier for most people to hang on to the garbage. So many people are constantly deleting embarrassing posts and pictures that I can't even wrap my head around a fake number. My question, though, is why? Why do we try to gloss over the past? There's no reason for it because with enough digging and critical thinking, we can figure it out anyway. I get why people would try to pretend their ancestors weren't nazis, or didn't own/sell slaves, but knowing that kind of thing is useful if you're trying to put the past and present into perspective. Everyone wants to be good. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But pretending that you've never done an evil deed, is evil in and of itself.
I understand the desire to rewrite the past. For god's sake, I'm starting school all over again, after doing nothing for a full year, after going to a school that made me miserable, after taking six months off, after not applying anywhere I'd actually get accepted, all because I got mediocre grades in high school because I don't believe in homework. If I could rewrite the past, I would. But I can't. So I'm not going to try to. There is no reason why we should be embarrassed of our lives. Involuntary reaction? Maybe. But if you go through it enough (read: if you sit with the gossipy women at enough family gatherings), you eventually find ways to cope (eg: your drunk cousin is really the closest in your family to enlightenment). And once you can look yourself in the face and deal with all your own baggage, there's no longer a reason not to share everything in your life.
So I share random observances in my day. I'm indiscriminate of whether the things I share are directly from my life, or something I hear someone else say in passing when I'm at work or the mall (same thing) or the park or on tv. If it amuses or annoys me, and I think more than three people will chuckle or commiserate, it goes on facebook. There is a reason I'm not friends with my mom or my managers... They wouldn't understand. And if you don't understand, delete me, I don't need you.